Movie Parodies
by afrozenheart412
Summary: Formerly "Choose? Or Draw!" Movie parodies about our favorite CSI NY characters. A continued Happy Birthday present to Lily Moonlight! Chapter two has been revised and corrected. Thank you!
1. Stella

Happy Birthday Lily Moonlight! Brinchen86 and I hope you have a fantastic day, stay safe, and many more wishes! (She looked this over for me, so consider this a present from her too!) :D

Author's Note: This is a weird one. If you know me, then you will understand. But if you are new to my humor, I'm sorry. I can only say I'm weird and this is what my brain cooked up. I was surfing YouTube and came upon a clip of Melina in Providence. If you type in 'providence' and 'sibling rivalry' you will understand what this is about. I think this is the closest we will get to Lily Moonlight's Where Have All the Cowboys Gone and Once Upon A Time In the Old West…that is until she is in charge of CSI NY!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI NY, the movie High Noon, or Turner Classic Movies. The people with deep pockets do. I only own the lint in mine.

* * *

With the sun high in the sky, Stella walks down the street to her office when a woman yells out her name.

"Bonasera!"

Stella, dressed in a flowing brown duster and a form fitting leather vest with her badge gleaming, steps off the boardwalk and into the street to face Aubrey. The hat shading her deadly jade eyes from the hot sun, she calls out, "Leave town now, Aubrey…or be prepared to draw! Because there is only one way you're getting my man, and that's over my dead body!"

"Is that right?" Aubrey sneers. "And if he wants me instead?" She tosses a wink at Mac who is standing on the side watching the showdown with the rest of the townspeople. Aubrey lowers her hands over her guns, "Make your move, Bonasera!"

Quickly reining in her temper at the thought that Mac would prefer another woman to her, Stella calmly pushes back her duster to reveal her guns; her hands hover over the Colt .45s on her hips, waiting for Hunter to make a move.

Aubrey pulls her gun from the holster and aims, only to have it buck out of her hand and onto the ground beside her. Looking down the street to the smoking barrel in Stella's hand, she goes for her other gun to only have that shoot out of her hand too. Diving to the ground to try and get another chance at the sheriff, the guns jump again. And again.

Standing above her fallen foe, Stella pushes the rim of her cowboy hat back with the still smoking barrel, "I think it's time for you to leave town." Turning to leave, she hears Lindsay shout out her name.

"Stella, look out!"

Before she can raise her gun, a rifle shot is heard and a body rolls and falls to the ground from a building's rooftop. Groaning in pain from the bloody hole in her hand, Peyton glares up at Stella with malice in her eyes.

"Never mess with the sheriff and her man!" Jess shouts from the rooftop behind Stella. "They don't call it a Peacemaker for nothing!"

Nodding her appreciation toward her friends, Stella stalks over to Mac and pulls him by his bolo into a deep kiss.

Aubrey, noticing that Stella is distracted, picks up her gun in her aching hand and aims. Mac opens his eyes and on instinct alone, he starts to push Stella to the ground when she whirls around and both women fire.

* * *

"Gah!" Abruptly waking up, Stella turns a blearily eye toward the TV. Turner Classic Movies is still playing High Noon. Sighing she runs a hand through her springy curls, "No more olives and sardines so close to bedtime."

Grabbing the remote off her nightstand, she aims at the TV and clicks the off button. "Ka-Pow!" She laughs as she puts the remote back.

"What's wrong?" Mac asks, lifting his head from her neck. His hair standing up on one side, he takes a cautious look around to see what disturbed their sleep.

"Nothing, everything is alright." She reaches behind her to run her fingers down his unshaven cheek. "Go back to sleep."

"Okay," he murmurs. Nestling his head back into the warm curve, he tightens his arms around her warm lush figure before dropping off to sleep.

"Everything is alright." Stella whispers lacing her fingers with his on top of her swollen stomach where their babies rest. "Everything is perfect."

The end.

* * *

I hope this came out okay, I'm still learning. Thank you for reading; I hope you got some good laughs out of this. :) I don't hate Aubrey or Peyton...I just don't think they are right for Mac like Stella is.


	2. Mac

Happy Birthday, Lily Moonlight! *huge hugs* A continued present for you! :D Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them. Nor the movie. But I'm happy about the new season...and hope again that it won't be its last.

* * *

Walking determinedly through the sweltering New Orleans factory, Mac in his Marine Corp dress blues looks for the one person that can make his life complete. Passing by numerous women working, he doesn't notice them stop working and watch his every movement avidly. His brightly polished shoes clicking crisply on the paved floor, Mac stops when he spots her, looking at her nervously as the blue trim of his coat collar cuts into his Adam's apple.

Wearily rubbing the back of her hand across her sweaty forehead, Stella pushes back the loose golden curl that always springs out of the newsboy hat she wears.

"Huh, I can't believe she took that hat with her," Mac muses watching her shuffling the paper bags the machine spits out and readies them for packaging. I remember when she bought that, he thinks, it was on our first date. With stealth, he walks behind her only to lean down to kiss that special place where her neck meets the curve of her jaw.

Feeling the goose bumps break out all over her skin he smiles against her flesh. "Miss me?"

"Mac!" She cries turning around taking the ear buds of her MP3 player out, the music cutting out the noise of the machines before she turns off the device. "Why are you in New Orleans? What are you doing here?"

"Taking you back home where you belong," he says cupping her face gently in his roughened hands, his fingers relearning the silky texture of her skin. Pulling her into a soulful kiss, she sighs into his mouth as their lips touch. Playing with the soft hairs at the nape of his neck, she can't help but break the kiss with a laugh overjoyed that he's here. He laughs with her as she holds him tightly when they start twirling around ignoring their audience and the envious look on Aubrey's face as she looks on at the happy couple.

Mac hoists Stella up into his arms carries her away when they hear Aubrey shout after them.

"Way to go, Stella!" With red eyes she chokes back a sob while clapping, "way to go!"

Everyone starts clapping and shaking Stella's hand wanting to touch them. As he walks past her co-workers, he savors the fact that in his arms...she's home. Stella's pulls off her newsboy cap, her glinting curls falling in a riotous bunch around her face, plucks the white barracks cover off of his head. Then she places the cover on her head at a jaunty angle. Mac laughs as they leave New Orleans and head back to their life in New York City.

* * *

Mac wakes up with a snort, swatting away the stray curl that woke him up tickling his nose. With tired eyes and a crick in his neck that comes from dozing on the couch, he stifles a yawn and takes a look around to get his bearings. Noticing that the movie they were watching, on a rare Sunday evening off, is over. The credits are rolling. Snuggled asleep in the corner of the couch by his side, Stella is wrapped up all toasty and warm in the blanket he pulled off the end of their bed. Shaking her shoulder lightly, he gets no response except for a light snore.

He smiles with delight at the familiar sound. "Yep, she's out."

Taking the remote off of the coffee table and ignoring her new credentials from the New York FBI field office, Mac stops the DVD and turns off the machine. Standing he stretches scratching his chest before moving to close the blinds, check the locks on the doors and windows, and turn off all of the lights. Walking back to the couch, Mac bends down to gather Stella's lithe dancer's body into his arms. Lifting her slowly, not wanting to disturb her, he stands. On his way down the hall with wife in his arms, Mac stops at the two bedrooms along the way. He peeks inside making sure their children are safe and sleeping soundly...not giggling or playing like they have caught them many times before.

"Love lift us up where we belong. Where the eagles fly, on a mountain high…," humming underneath his breath. Mac continues to carry Stella the rest of the way to their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed this, especially you, Lily! Have a fun yet safe birthday! I'm still not the best at this and that was evident at all of the run on sentences and mistakes. It has been corrected for your enjoyment. :)

Thank you for reading, and I hope that this put a smile on your face or a laugh in your heart! :)


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